The full version of the equation would be Snow + Moped + No Helmet + Drunk + Bridgeport Rd = Very Bad Idea.

Michelle and I were just starting to doze around 2am when some guy started shouting "fuck" repeatedly outside, in that kind of angry voice that's hard to ignore. Looking out the window, he had obviously wiped out his moped in the fresh snow and was trying to get it started again. It was worth a chuckle at first, I couldn't believe the guy was trying to ride that thing with the snow still falling, but he just wouldn't shut up.

When he did get it started, he skidded all over the road. It became apparent quickly that his lack of control was more than just due to the snow, he was either drunk or had some sort of head injury (since he had no helmet, which could account for the tourette's, we could still hear him cursing as he moved down the street).

When he started circling around in the intersection, blocking traffic (including a passing ambulance), that's when we realized he was a serious danger to himself and others and I called 911. I'm sure it wasn't the only call they'd received about it.

I wish I'd grabbed my camera earlier, although I didn't want to startle him by snapshotting directly anyway, but here are his skid marks in front of my place. Yeah, they're on both sides of the road:

I'm still boggled at the sheer stupidity, this guy had some kind of deathwish. He should have flagged one of the minivan taxicabs (we're right near the airport) to get him and his scooter home.